Non-tech-literate people raise your hands. *me, raising one hand very slowly while continuing to type with the other* I’m one of those people who are not naturally gifted with the talent to manipulate any form of technology, I’m just not that girl. Lately, however, I’ve been making an effort to maintain a stable relationship with my laptop and my online networks (sounds so much like the speech I gave my ex). It’s rough but I’m getting there. To keep up with that, I see to it that I check my mail daily and clean up my gmail and ymail accounts once every 2 months. Look what I found.
I have hundreds of mails from Joey Atlas, a guy telling me to lose weight. I don’t even remember when or if I subscribed to Joey’s website. He seems pretty adamant that I lose all the EXTRA- I have lots- pounds I put on. Many of the girls I know are pressured to be skinnier or curvier or more toned. The things they find wrong about their bodies are endless. Society particularly girls *and guys* who feel they are prettier or better than everyone else compels the rest of us follow in the bandwagon. We are forced to standardize beauty and persecute those who cannot live up to it. Those with weaker convictions are bullied into puking and purging (as Glee star Kitty would put it, “scout’s honor”).
I’m not blogging about it to pass judgement. Honestly, I get it. I was also overweight and depressed and in dire need of understanding. I turned to reading to avert my eating desires and that worked until I got sick. Turns out, fasting is not a healthy dieting technique. (OMG! That was stupid!) Lucky for me, hyperacidity is not as bad as ulcers or bulimia but it doesn’t make it acceptable.
My story is not as depressing or as unfortunate as the stories most girls who suffer from self-image issues are. I wasn’t openly bullied, called fat or made fun of (credit goes to all my open minded peers who sees more in people than probably half of the global population). But I still had to learn to love myself despite my bigger than life appetite and a voluptuous body to match. The key for me was ACCEPTANCE. If I expect it from other people, I must have it for myself. Others are not gonna see it unless I see it. If I cannot look at the mirror and see someone beautiful no amount of work out, dieting or weight loss is gonna be enough to compensate for my lack of self-worth. I’m always gonna think I’m not enough.
So I say, I’m perfectly beautiful and I’m happy to be me. No standards, no weight limits, no bullies to force me to think otherwise. In the wise words of my fashion icon, happy girls are always the prettiest.
PS Don’t misconstrue this post. I do not support stress eating or skipping much needed exercise. We all need to be healthy- yes that includes me. This post is about dealing with our motivations for losing weight, gaining it or altering any part of our body. Do we do it because it’s the healthy option or is it because we’re insecure and feel unattractive? If your motivation is the latter then forget it because you won’t feel attractive unless you first decide you are. *wink*
PSS I’m dedicating this entire blog site to chronicling things that made me happy or overcoming things that don’t. I cannot assure that it will work the same way but I sure hope it does. Everyone deserves a sprinkle of happiness in their lives or at least the chance to pursue it.