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I read comic books, wear vintage clothes, listen to artsy and more alternative music, prefer indie films to mainstream ones and do not see marriage in my future despite having been brought up in a conservative Catholic family. It’s safe to say I’ve always had and eclectic taste and personality. Never have I felt the need to conform to trends or apologize for who I am all 22 years of my life. It’s not on purpose of course. There are days when I ask myself why I can’t just like what everyone else likes, see things the way most people do. That would definitely make shopping SOOOOOOO MUCH easier (and cheaper)! Like most people in the ‘out’, I do ask every now and then what is so good about being in the bandwagon. 

What are the perks of trend?

photo from bedetrends.tumblr.com

I’d like to think that genuine appreciation is the premise of those who follow trends, that the cool kids who are trend right and are welcome passengers of the bandwagon are truly into those they claim they absolutely LOVE. In some cases though, there are those who only like what they like because it’s all they know. After all, mainstream is called that for a reason. They get the most publicity therefore a bigger fanbase. In other cases, they’re scared to admit that they listen to, read, like something else because they fear the scrutiny of their peers or crave the approval of others.

Spread your wings!

If you’re the former then you need to spread your wings and fly a little further from the nest. Often the view is so much better but even if it isn’t at least you know you made an informed choice to find your way back to what you’re comfortable with. Growing up sheltered, I thought I already know what I want early on but going through life on my own opened my eyes to things I appreciated more than others. The journey towards them have been revealing and they made me the person I am proud to be- crazy eccentricities, quirky clothes and all.

Be original! Be you!

If you’re the latter, then I suggest you take one long look in the mirror while you tell yourself that what you want is worth showing and exploring. You are more important than the bandwagon some PR specialist probably concocted to raise the sales of an All American pop star and all his merchandise. SNAP OUT OF IT! Trust me, I’ve been in your shoes. Pretending to fangirl on some poor celebrity who I don’t even like sucked the life right out me. I am not going back. Don’t wait for it to happen to you, if it hasn’t already.

The danger of falling into trends even if you don’t like them or solely because you don’t know there are other choices out there is that IT PROGRESSES. It starts with singers you like, movies you watch or clothes you wear. Then it slowly begins to affect your self-image, your goals, your relationships and other aspects of your life that you used to love. When you agree compromising on the small things that make you happy in favor of those that make 90% of the twitter population happy, soon enough that will be your instinctive response to other decisions you make- even the crucial ones.

At least not if you’d rather take your own car 🙂 photo from donutwisdom.tumblr.com

THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH LIKING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKES if that is what’s truly natural to you. For those who aren’t in that group, have the courage to admit it. DON’T LET THE CHOICES OF THE MAJORITY DICTATE WHO YOU ARE because they are happy being who they are; you should be too.

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right before I sleep

I read somewhere before that the best time to reflect and go over the activities of the day is at that moment when you’re lying in bed, right before you drift to sleep. At that time, you’re relaxed and comfy enough to recall all the BS and stresses of the day without feeling the need to strangle somebody. You can also giggle about that macho man who said hi or take in how sumptuous your lunch was.

photo from biebercrown.tumblr.com

photo from biebercrown.tumblr.com

It says in the article that it’s important to give yourself time to process the things that happened to you during that day. It didn’t say why but here’s MY theory. Often our day to day life is commanded by either reflex, instinctive reactions that we gravitate towards because it’s part of our daily routine or by feelings, sudden bursts of emotions that push us to act a certain way (like how I react when the line at my favorite deli is too long and my lunch break is too short). We need time at the end of our day to think about why we felt certain way, why our response is like that or why we’re attracted to something- or someone. *wink* It helps us makes sense of things we don’t usually think about because we’re  busy doing it, feeling it or being in the moment.

Even before I read the article, I’ve already been doing it. I guess I’m always drawn to introspection and those kind of things. On the upside, I always allot time for myself and I allow myself to revisit events, think about the ones I like and ones I would change if I could. On the downside, well, I usually lay awake for almost an hour before I finally fall asleep.

So hey, even if before-bedtime reflection isn’t for you, try to reflect about life and all those moments every once in a awhile. The experiences that stick might surprise and reveal an interesting side to you that you haven’t yet explored.

November 1st

A few months ago I did a tribute entry for my grandfather who passed away. Well here in the Philippines, we take celebrating All Saints and All Souls day to heart. It was something Papa (that’s what I call my grandfather) inculcated in us very well too. We’d go to the cemetery bearing flowers, candles and food on the first of November. We’d spend the night praying and talking about how the people who passed away lived their lives and how it affected ours.

It’s a time of recalling, honoring and celebrating.

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This is the first time we won’t be able to do it with Papa instead we’ll be doing it for him. I can’t say it’s easy when this time last year he’d be the one fuzzing over the preparations. Where are the candles? Did you buy the flowers yet? What time are we leaving? He’d keep badgering us til we’re finally ready. This year, no more questions, no more badgering, only the quiet knowledge that we have to continue this tradition in his honor. We have to continue to celebrate his life and everything that he has taught us.

So to all those who are celebrating their loved ones’ lives with us, my prayers are with you and I’m hoping that you’ll pray for us and those we’ve lost too.

 

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By the way, I know you guys must be thinking that November 2 is all Souls Day so we should visit cemeteries then but for other people that date isn’t a holiday. They’d have to skip work to pay their respects so most of us just decide to do it on November 1st.

over a sundae

We know the drill all too well. We get dumped (or we dump him), passed for a promotion, feeling like a drag or in a rut, or practically any depressing, tormenting, disgusting or heartbreaking milestone we go through, we run to our best friend. Nope, not the one who shares our clothes and eats half our sandwich but that sweet, refreshing, mouth-watering and creamy goodness- the sundae complete with chocolate fudge and sprinkles.

I, personally, am not a big sweets fan but you already know that from the countless times I mentioned it in the entries prior. I do, however, make an exception for my friends and cousins who fancy a cone. A few days ago, while I was visiting my aunt at St. Luke’s hospital (She’s fine, worry not!) my cousin asked me to hang out an have a talk over ice cream.

And that we did!

with chelsea

It wasn’t one of those heavy, tearful conversations, in fact it was light and playful. It was exactly what I needed at that moment, a pick-me-up on a rather dull day. We talked about our plans, where we’d be in a few years, relationships, music, clothes, celebrities and family. EVERYTHING. It was organic and easy.

Whatever the nature of those conversations are, it should remind us that being open, talking to someone is an important human connection we all need to have. We need someone to listen to our problems, no matter how petty (yes that includes how annoyed you are about a fellow commuter talking OH SO LOUDLY ON THE PHONE when you’re trying to nap) or huge they are. We long for a friend who cares enough to ask us how our day was, what we wanna do tomorrow or who we wanna be 5 years from now.

It matters. You’re not self centered just because you want someone to care. 

And by the way, it means you too should be thoughtful enough to ask and care enough to listen. Their stories are as important as yours so savor them as much, if not more than you enjoy that sundae.

You know I realized it might not be the sundae that makes us feel better, it may be the company that comes with it

finally! (sorry for the wait)

My sincerest apologies to all my subscribers and to this blog for not having been able to update in the past few weeks. As some of you may have noticed my last 2 posts were made in Manila rather than Naga (2 different cities, 8 hours apart). Yup, you guessed it. I moved back here for a job. *wink* Well, all the moving and adjusting took its toll on my writing. For that, I’m sooooo SORRY! This won’t happen again promise! *crossing my heart*

Now that the move is finally complete my focus has shifted to getting my life together. Remember the bucketlist I posted a while back, I’m finally getting to it. Number 12, study a foreign language is coming along. French is so much harder than I thought it would be. And number 24, get a makeover at least once every year, I’m sticking to it. I’ve decided to go red so goodbye brunette. Fiery redhead here I come!

Yup, I’m getting there- to a happier, better me! 😉

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By the way, I’m currently using my phone to upload this entry which for some reason won’t allow me to post pictures. I’ll just be adding that tomorrow. 🙂