for gay marriage

As I was browsing through some recent posts on Facebook, I read this from a friend.

Untitled2

Forgive the agitation but that doesn’t, in any way, lessen the conviction I have towards promoting equal rights for all- yes, including LGBT relationships. It was never a secret that I am for gay marriage as I’ve said it a couple of times in my previous posts. (I’ll put the link below in case you wanna read it, for reference or what not.) Marriage is a civil institution and it only becomes a religious ceremony if a couple decides to do it in front of a denomination. Outside of that, it is more a practice of a civil right rather than a violation of some ecumenical belief.

The role of religious institutions has to be clarified because no way is society forcing them to swallow beliefs that are not amenable to them.  However if respect is given to their practices and beliefs then inverse respect is required of them as society decides on issues that are more social in nature. You can’t force churches to marry gay couples in the same way that these churches can’t bastardize societies favoring progressive awarding of rights.

Calling people demonic because they’re born a certain way and pressuring society and governments to do the same is not only below the belt, it’s inhuman. I know there are rational, level-headed and more understanding members of churches; there are a lot in fact so this is not a generalization rather a portrayal of those who go overboard.

photo from heydoyou.com

It obviously pains me that my best friend who believes more in the sanctity of marriage than I ever will can’t be wed because he wants to be with another man. While I who in no way imagines marriage in my future ha that as an option. You can say this issue is more personal than it is logical for me (which almost never happens) but it does not dilute the truth in it.I don’t think pulpits should be used to demonize people for being different, for being born who they are just because norms dictate us to.

We are a far better humanity than that; I still honestly believe that.

*Writer’s Note: Just to be clear, I am not for abortion. I’ll discuss it some other time. I just really needed to talk about gay rights especially when it comes to relationships and the manner by which religious institutions ‘convince’ the public what to believe.
**Links:
  1. https://byunanonymous.wordpress.com/2013/03/26/paint-the-town-gay/
  2. https://byunanonymous.wordpress.com/2013/03/01/my-new-normal/
  3. https://byunanonymous.wordpress.com/2013/04/17/gay-and-great/

cough and colds

That is probably one of the most disgusting titles my blog has ever had. Yeah, yeah, insert laughter and smart comments here. But the truth of the matter is it’s not that bad- kidding. It’s so bad my throat is starting to hurt from sneezing too much and my tummy is complaining because of all the coughing but here I am typing away on my laptop. I  think boredom is so much worse than the actual illness.

So what do you do when you’re a bit under the weather and can’t really do much?

It’s not often that you have time to yourself without people bugging you to do stuff for them or your boss constantly harassing you for deadlines. This can be your chance to sit back and finish a book or two, watch silly videos or a romantic movie, try some DIY, write on a blog or cook up something new. Or maybe if you’re much too stressed and tired, sleep all day. All worthy options to spend the day away from the hectic life of a young professional.

Whatever it is, just don’t do something too taxing that it will end up like just any other work day. Remember, you’re still sick and need to recover as soon as you can so don’t forget those meds and just relax. Soon enough those colds and cough will be gone (hoping mine goes away fast) and you’ll be back to work- a bit more rested and rejuvenated.

for those who want to forget

Do you have a memory so painful you’d rather go through a complicated process just to erase it?

Untitled

Click on the link if you’d like to read the full article. http://gizmodo.com/finally-a-real-life-memory-erasing-technique-for-human-1488613923

If you answered yes then my tweet this morning would sound like a great feat to you. According to that article, neuroscientists have successfully found a way to erase memories through electroconvulsive therapy. Although it’s far from being made available to mainstream users as they’ve only ever been tested on mice, it makes me even sadder to think that anyone could get so lonely, hurt and agonized that they would choose losing a part of who they are and what they’ve gone through just to get by, to be happy again.

I wish I could tell people in those times in their lives that it gets better. Soon enough you’ll realize it always gets better.

why fortune cookies make so much sense

Who here loves Chinese food? *raises hand eagerly and flings it back and forth* Well, I live for them. I find them very comforting, probably because my parents have this favorite Chinese place we’d always go to when I was growing up. Their food is mouth-watering good and they’re not even that expensive.

tumblr_lmb518b9Wr1qc6czfo1_500_large1

Like in most Chinese restos, you get a fortune cookie after the meal (in this resto’s a case, a fortune cupcake- you might remember an entry I wrote about it awhile back) and they’re filled with some Chinese wisdom that, according to the waiters, is especially suited for you. Somehow the kitchen gods guide their chefs to put just the right message for the right person- they say.

Is it the cookie or me?

It got me to thinking. Do we really get the perfect fortunes for us or do we make it fit perfectly? Like when we ask for signs, do we really wait religiously for something to manifest proving that the universe wills us to make a decision or do we interpret random, uncoordinated events as more than they are- just events that happen from time a to time b?

I think that when we want our fortunes to make sense, it does and often when we want to act all skeptical, it doesn’t. We can blame the fates for most of it but partly we too play a role in those fortunes. We interpret them, weave them into our lives so it makes sense or it doesn’t. Maybe that’s why a lot of people believe in fortunes because secretly and maybe subconsciously, they actually know what they want that note to read. A note that says, ‘stay strong’ may mean a million different things to a million different people, probably so far from what it means to you but it doesn’t make it any less true.

Fortune cookies make sense because we allow them to.

There is a reason why fortune-telling, mediums and the like is a million dollar industry. We love filling in the blanks. We almost can’t help but respond to random thoughts and make it our own. Does this mean that fortune cookies are of no sense? Does it mean we have to believe messages sent to us by the universe are all a figment of our creative minds? Depends, on you that is. I know I’ll still be very happy to get my free fortune cookies at any resto and I’ll probably still frequent temples to get my palms read

but…

I’m also reminded that in the end I have the power to interpret those fortunes. I can make them into anything I want them to mean. It’s true for everything else that happens in life. You can blame it on fate but how you weave it to your life, that’s on you.

unmailed letter

I read somewhere, sometime ago that bottled emotions especially for other people are best written then kept. That way you get to rid yourself of all the tension; you’re able to express what you truly feel without the possibility of hurting someone else. So I did that.

 I guess that may be the reason why I wanna come clean, to dispense myself of this secret. It’s just too heavy to carry around and you know I wanna go places.

Writing down each word is therapy in itself. It almost feels like I’m talking to him without feeling the compulsion to constantly reword everything, so it doesn’t offend him, so it fits his standards, so it lives up to mine. I could just finally say it and not be sorry I did.

I could sit here all day long and come up with the perfect excuse, the most reasonable one, why I never said anything and decided everyday to stay mum but the truth is I was scared. And you know me, I am seldom scared.

After every word has gone and I have exhausted all I wanted to say, a part of me feels guilty that he will never get to read it. It’s like when a guy likes a girl so much but has decided to be a secret admirer, leaving roses on her doorstep and poetry in her locker. Although he’s so scared for fear of rejection, a part him just wants to come clean and tell her in person because there’s still no substitute for an actual real life conversation with her- not even his imagined romantic day with her. Well, I feel that way. Because more than the frustration I wrote are truths that a part of me believes he deserves to know.

I’m not sure if were meant to be friends for the rest of our lives. I’m not even sure if we’d have each other’s number in 5 years but I’d like this letter to remind you (and in a strange telepathic way remind me) that while I pen these words, you mean so much to me. You’ve made a big impact on my life and I will forever admire the way you chose to live your life- uncompromising and full of integrity.

Even as I type this entry out I still haven’t decided whether I should mail him the letter or not. If I don’t mail it, I still have successfully accomplished my mission to dispense myself of all that I have to say to him without having to feel embarrassed about whatever else I wrote. If I do, we might need to talk about and right now I’m sure if that’s a good thing or not.

I guess maybe I was hoping by the end of this entry I’d finally know what to do but still, nothing.

my little secret

For some time I’ve been deliberating whether I should show my sketches and graffiti to other people, my friends especially. It was never a big secret that I love being creative– that when words fail me, I fall to drawings, doodles and caricature art. Back in primary school, everyone knew I drew but it was not exactly a big deal because most my friends are as artistic if not more artistic than I am.

photo from lastcanned.tumblr.com

As I grew older and labels started to get thrown around, most people forgot or never got to know that my creative side is an important part of me- that I love drawing (not saying I’m amazing though) as much as I love writing or speaking for causes. If they ask, I’d probably mention it in passing but often they don’t really wanna go into those things. It wasn’t in the usual run of our conversations.

True to my overly critical self, I became less and less confident about my works so it wasn’t now just an issue of no one asking. It became more of a constant need to hide it, suppress or deny it. I stopped drawing for awhile but I find myself going back to it when confronted with extreme emotions. Sometimes it will be as simple as doodles on my journal. Other times it will be as elaborate as painting my shirts or posters on my wall. If I could have gotten away with painting my room, I probably would.

I realized that my subconscious is telling me something very important. Drawing, painting, doodling, they’re not just an escape; they’re a part of who I am. Suppressing them because I think my abilities are inadequate won’t make me feel better about  them nor would it improve my ability to actually perform them. If I feel insecure about something as important to me as they are then I must work harder at them until I feel confident enough to share them or at least talk about them.

So here I am, trying to push myself to talk about it and share it to people who care enough to read my entries because I think it’s an important part of me and maybe also to inspire others that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about loving something so much even if you’re not exponentially good at it.

I’m not at a point where I can go around saying that I’m good at drawing or painting because I don’t think I am (YET). This girl is still hard at work improving herself. When I feel I’m ready, I’ll show it some more but at this moment I don’t feel embarrassed saying that I draw. I don’t have to downplay what it truly means to me and how much it has helped me. Plus, I thought you should know that I found that courage to ask a really good friend if he wanted to see some of my works. It was scary (and will probably sting a little if he hates them) but that’s all just part of it. I’m glad I did it because I know I eventually should trust the people that matter to me to love every part of me- no matter how imperfect, quirky or strange it is.

christmas SHOPPING

I know most of you are probably done with your Christmas shopping, hoping to avoid all the rush and settling for a day with the family at home. Trust me, that’s my ideal day too but just in case you’re still out and about and hoping to score on the best this season has to offer, invite your friends or in my case my cousins (who tolerate my love for quirky clothes and would endure hours of walking) to come spend a day with you. It makes the tiresome process of shopping more tolerable if not fun.

IMG_20131215_134820

Make that headache of a trip a chance to spend time with girl friends.

I know, I know, I know. I doesn’t make the lines shorter or the prices any cheaper but imagine, instead of spending half an hour complaining about the line to yourself, you can catch up with you friends or complain with them. Either way, it’ll be more fun. 🙂

that Christmas Spirit

Okay, so I’ve been busy once again but I finally found time to work on an entry and it happens to be on the eve of Christmas. I thought it would be fitting to talk about the Holiday season.

One full serving of nostalgia anyone?

My oldest Christmas memories were of desperate attempts my parents tried to convince me that Santa is real. Although there has always been some doubt at the back of my mind, I believed them. I mean if he wasn’t real how would I explain all those big stuffed toys and cute dresses he gave me while my parents gave me books and board games. It just didn’t make sense, to the 5 year old me at least. The gifts were so different but now I kinda get that’s the point. It was my parent’s way of cherishing the playful child in me without encouraging me too much to be rowdy.

Now that I’m older, I appreciate Christmas very differently. I look back and see how much effort my parents put into making it the perfect holiday, how my aunt would spend the whole afternoon cooking pasta for the whole family, how my grandparents would herd us to the Church to spend a night in prayer and how we’d all wait for midnight, sitting around the table and sharing a feast.

Those memories aren’t isolated moments anymore. They all tell me how Christmas is supposed to be, filled with love, spent with the people you care about and remembered with a happy heart. I’m now 22, no more presents under the tree (mostly because they let me choose my presents or just give my GCs), no more Santa stories (actually I’m the one telling them now) and no more parents almost sneaking out to prepare  my surprise but I still feel that spirit of Christmas, that overwhelming feeling of being loved, cherished and cared about.

It’s not just the gifts (which I truly appreciate by the way). I guess for someone who is often cynical about being sentimental and emotional, this season reminds me why it’s okay to appreciate the efforts my family and friends put on making this season the absolute best for me.

photo from imgfave.com

So here’s to all of us, spending a day or 2 with the most important people in our lives. Have merry Christmas everyone. I wish you all the love and happiness in the world.

losing my keys

Again…

I wish I could say this doesn’t happen to me often but it does. And you know what’s even funnier (or more frustrating, depending on my mood) I find them in the most obvious places. It makes me feel like I wasn’t even looking for them all the hours I was bending over to look under my bed and all over my closet or just maybe the cursed key just doesn’t wanna be found. By the time I finally find it, I’m often unsure how to feel.

Should I jump up and down because I FOUND IT or should I be annoyed because I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHERE IT WAS in the first place?

It reminded me of goals we have in life. Often we work so damn hard to find them. We work 12 hours a day instead of 8. Save as much of our salary as we can. Tire ourselves out until we can give or do no more. We become so busy looking for something, for that goal, in all the wrong places (at work, with money, with fake friends) that we lose sight of what’s obvious.

The key is right in front of us, waiting for us to stop looking so hard and just trust that it’s where it’s supposed to be.

 

You and I by One Direction

Coming from someone who has been in non-conventional relationships, this song definitely hits home.

YOU AND I by One Direction

I figured it out
I figured it out from black and white
Seconds and hours
Maybe they had to take some time

I know how it goes
I know how it goes from wrong and right
Silence and sound
Did they ever hold each other tight
Like us
Did they ever fight
Like us

You and I
We don’t wanna be like them
We can make it till the end
Nothing can come between
You and I
Not even the Gods above can
Separate the two of us
No nothing can come between
You and I
Oh, you and I

I figured it out
Saw the mistakes of up and down
Meet in the middle
There’s always room for common ground

I see what it’s like
I see what it’s like for day and night
Never together
Cause they see things in a different light
Like us
They never tried
Like us

You and I
We don’t wanna be like them
We can make it till the end
Nothing can come between
You and I
Not even the Gods above can
Separate the two of us

‘Cause You and I
We don’t wanna be like them
We can make it till the end
Nothing can come between

You and I
Not even the Gods above can
Separate the two of us
No nothing can come between

You and I
Oh, you and I
Ooooh You and I
We could make it if we try
Oh, you and I
You and I