for dreamers like me

For those who might need a little pick me up.

I know, I know. I can hear my alarm from a distance reminding me to go and fight for my dreams or at least wait a bit more patiently for the phone call. *ring ring*

them butterflies in my tummy

I’m expecting something good to happen in the next few days (YEY!) but I’m not here to blog about that-  well not yet. Partly because I’m terrified I’ll jinx it and mostly because I still do not know how to write about it. I have to wait for how it will actually happen. Makes sense right? (Please say yes.)

photo from

Tonight I wanna write about that jittery, butterflies in your stomach, almost nauseating feeling you get when you’re anxious or excited or waiting for something really important to happen. Yes, that kind where you just know you can’t keep still- you just have to do a million things a minute. I’m having one such episode right now so I thought the best remedy is to write about it. At least I’m productive.

My dad once told me that usually the things worth doing are the ones that terrify you the most. That’s exactly why you get that uneasy feeling because you know how much you want it, how much it means to you that the thought of having it is enough to drive you insane for a moment (okay, maybe more than a moment *wink*). It doesn’t have to be as big as anticipating the jump before skydiving, sometimes it’s the flutter you get when you do something spontaneous like commute to Mcdonalds at midnight just to get fries with your friends (or cousins *coughs*). 

From my experience, and I’m guessing my dad’s as well, these things that make us feel excited and scared at the same time is what we’ll remember the most.  It’s what life should be- uneasy, messy, risky but absolutely fun (and yes, this is coming from Ms. All-Rational-Plan-Every-Friggin-Thing).

So if you haven’t had butterflies in your stomach for a long time, go find something that’s gonna give you that feeling again- something worth your time of course. Trust me, it’ll be worth it. 🙂

the fangirl phenomenon


definition from Urban Dictionary

According to the trusty (because every Youtube video explaining something about pop culture seems to refer to this site soooo…) Urban dictionary there are 2 versions of a fangirl, the good one and the bad one but either way, it boils down to an obsession. It seems so stereotypical right? So from one fangirl to another, what does it really mean to be a fan- a dedicated one at that?

Why do most celebrities portray themselves to be relatable and friendly? Well, some of them naturally are but the rest are presented that way because the more people respond and relate to you, the more influential you become. Take for example Glee- the breakthrough series of the underappreciated misfits in high school- it gathered great support because majority of teens feel like they don’t fit in anywhere and they respond to the kind of vulnerability shown in the series. They feel recognized, understood- they’re not alone. For most of us, we see ourselves or maybe even a better version of ourselves in the people we admire.

They represent who we are or who we want to be (and sometimes who we wanna be WITH *wink wink*).

And that feeling- it’s a powerful thing. It draws us to people, stories or groups that fulfill that role and the next thing we know we’re stalking them on twitter, spending 3 months worth of allowance to buy tickets and standing in line just to get their album on the first day.

That’s not to say that fans do go overboard sometimes like stalking their idol’s hotel rooms or stealing their clothes, which freaks me out by the way. There are still boundaries that we have to respect no matter how huge our desire to be closer to our sources of inspiration is.

If we truly admire them enough, we’ll learn to respect them too.

It’s never justifiable to resort to suicide or animal cruelty- as what we often read on Twitter- just because some celebrity refuses to follow you back. First thing to remember, they have so many requests from fans to cater to each and every one and the other thing, they’re not usually the only ones using that account (PR team, anyone?) so don’t feel like it’s the end of the world if they’re oblivious to your existence. That’s just the nature of the fan-idol relationship. I’m not saying don’t go to meet and greets or end all hope of meeting them in person; I’m saying know which lines not to cross.

For those lucky enough to have fans and followers, don’t take it for granted. Other people’s strong belief in you and how they show it may drive you a little crazy sometimes but remember that they go to that extent because you mean so much to them. You inspire them, make them happy and give them something to look forward to.

How many people can say they have posters in houses of people they’ve never even met?

To my fellow fangirls, don’t be so hard yourself. It’s perfectly normal to squeal in delight because the new Mortal Instruments book is about to come out or because your favorite band finally decided to go on a tour. You’re not insane (well…); you’re passionate and overeager. Don’t punish yourself because you find happiness and inspiration in people you’ve never met or don’t have close personal ties with.

If it keeps you pumped, smiling and ready to face the day every morning,

if it inspires you to pursue your dreams and be better everyday,

if it introduces you to friends you share similar hobbies and interests with,

then go continue being a fangirl. THEY MUST BE WORTH IT.



2013 has gone and 2014 is here to stay- for the next 300 or so days at least. To say that the previous year has been difficult for me is the biggest understatement I could ever utter but all those, they’ve made me stronger, wiser and hopefully (keeping my fingers and toes crossed) HAPPIER. I know now that the best way to honor those experiences is to look forward and hope for the best in the future. To do that, I am crafting a year long bucket list. It will be filled with those crazy, quirky, out of this world things that I never would have thought of doing until now. I’ll post here when it’s ready but for now I just wanna check in and wish you all a happy happy new year.

Cheers to this amazing year!

Stay positive.

Love life.

Choose to be happy.