it’s YOUR fault (the blame game)

It’s become so easy for people to transfer blame when needed. Granted pointing a finger is less effort than actually solving the problem or coming clean about issues but ask yourself, who is that really helping?

Not those who were wronged, I’m sure. They’re still there wallowing in their pain, hoping that someone at least says sorry. Not you, you’re in DENIAL. You’re gonna keep making the same mistakes unless YOU recognize they were your mistakes in the first place.

Take that girl you’re dating for example, you’ve been cheating on her for awhile and every time you get into a fight about it. You say she’s being too suspicious. That’s your fear of getting found out projecting onto her as a defense mechanism. (This is clearly a hypothetical guys. LOL. Calm down.)

Or

In my case, I’ve been procrastinating doing something really important, something I should have done for awhile now. Everytime it gets brought up I blame my health, my degree, circumstance. Name an excuse, I’ve probably already used it. Every single reason except the honest one, ME. I’m stuck. I think it’s easier to sit here and wait for things to happen than actually do something about it.

I’m having none of that anymore.

I’m just gonna pick up the phone today and start calling people I need to call to get my book out there. Yes guys, all this ranting is about a book- well, MY book. It’s a long shot but most dreams are.

I guess other than assigning blame on some external force, I let my fear of rejection cripple me. I’ve had my fair share of doors slammed in my face, professionally and not so professionally. *wink* I’ve learned to accept that, but writing, especially literature, is where I’m most vulnerable so I keep putting it off.

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Funny thing about rejection, it’s okay as long as you’re at a safe distance and you have a back-up plan. Remove those and you feel naked, stripped of a get away. That’s when fear sets in and you’re not sure what to do. If you’re ever in a position like this, FACE YOUR FEAR. Usually the thing we’re afraid of the most are the most gratifying to conquer.

Here’s a little nugget of wisdom from someone who has been in denial and afraid for awhile. Take responsibility for your actions, mistakes or otherwise. You’ll find your sleep more comfortable at night and your errors, whatever they were, tucked away in your experience chest. You never know, if you cheated or did something really bad to someone, you just might be forgiven. Sorry goes a long way. At least in my book, it does.

For the dreamers, don’t let fear take over your life. Don’t blame the lack of inspiration, opportunities or some other made-up story you know is just another thing to blame. Focus on the dream and JUST START.

You can be great if you choose to be.

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Graham Moore on being YOU

People always say we are the geek generation. I feel offended when I hear that, not because I hate geeks. I AM A GEEK. They don’t understand that stereotypes ARE STILL stereotypes regardless of who’s on top. Labels are for commodities, not people. Stop using it to box us into what we can or should be. You’re a geek, stick to books or video games. Hey blonde cheerleader, be mean and bully this quiet girl who sits at the back row. Aren’t  we pass that?

I’ve been there, excluded and confused about why I can only be this label that feels like a noose tightening around my neck. There’s no one to talk to because they’re also quietly suffering with their own labels. Graham Moore couldn’t have put it any better in his Oscar acceptance speech.

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Think about it. Even those who build stereotypes reject being subjected to it because even they know, no one is ever just one thing. We’re far more complicated and interesting than that. That’s what makes us unique and different and… HUMAN. Embrace it. Love it! So every time you hear geek generation or jock central or whatever catchy handle society comes up with, reject it.

We are the YOU generation. We celebrate you, whoever YOU may be. 

 

 

unpopular opinion: monday misery

I  was in school once so I get the dread of going back to school after a few days of freedom. For some reason, my eyes feel droopier, my bed more inviting, my bag heavier than usual and the trip from home to school  a whole lot shorter. Ah what the mind does to us poor souls who only want another day to wake up at noon and spend what’s left of the day manically staring at our laptop screens watching some sappy movie or playing the new zombie apocalypse game.

As for the rest of us who work 8 hour jobs, we know what another day home would mean. It means sleep, that seemingly unproductive act but one we all crave. It means time to do our laundry, actually go to the gym we’ve been saying we’ll try for 2 months now, try a new restaurant or just stay home and enjoy a glass of wine

BUT MONDAY  HAPPENS. IT’S HAPPENING RIGHT NOW.

So I’ve put together a short list of the things I do to make Mondays more bearable.

  • Sleep extra early the night before. I know you wanna spend your last few hours of freedom binge watching the latest episodes of Reign but trust me, the longer you sleep, the better your mood will be when you wake up.

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  • Find something to look forward to every Monday. It doesn’t have to be big, just something to motivate you for the rest of the day. It can be the subtle reminder that you’ll be in the same train as your hunky crush or a slice of your favorite cake over lunch.
  • Indulge for breakfast. I’m gonna assume you took my advice and slept early which means you’ll be up earlier too. Take time and have a proper breakfast, not of those protein bars you grab when you’re running late. Eat something good like bacon, you deserve it.
  • Wear your best… or most comfortable. Just something that will lift your spirits. If you don’t have to wear a uniform to school or work, have fun with your outfit.
  • Coffee. Coffee. Coffee. If you’re not a coffee freak like me then try tea. It’s soothing but it’s also a jolt of energy in cup.
  • Bob your head to Shake It Off or any other feel good song the lifts your mood up. Make a playlist! You can even check out my suggested playlist linked below.
  • Make a conscious effort to smile today. Nothing brightens a day more that a smile. Who knows? Monday may just be meet your match day. *wink*

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  • Watch a funny video. There are tons on Youtube. If you’re a dork like me, you’d have a few of Shane or Smosh’s parodies saved on your phone. They’ve helped me get through some really long days and some abrasive, irritating people. Now they can help you get through Mondays.
  • Keep your Monday light. Instead of cramming a thousand meetings or study groups on Monday, try unloading your schedule. Soon enough your gonna love this day because it has the least strain. Besides you’re dealing with enough moods today to be bothered by a crazy schedule too.

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  • THINK OF MONDAY AS A FRESH START. If there’s anything you wanna do but you’re frightened to or there’s a habit you wanna break , do it today. Today you’re gonna seize your moment and be whoever you wanna be.

If any day becomes as miserable as Monday, take all these tips and try them on that day too. Happy Monday everyone!

 

LINKS

My 6 AM to 1 AM playlist- https://byunanonymous.wordpress.com/2015/02/19/6-am-to-1-am-playlist/

funny sites for a better Monday

SMOSH– https://www.youtube.com/user/smosh

Shane Dawson– https://www.youtube.com/user/ShaneDawsonTV

monthly movie bucketlist

The couch potato in me celebrates the metaphorical Netflix, I say metaphorical because it’s a first world perk, where I could be seated on the sofa or laying on my comfy bed  with jammies on and a pepperoni pizza while watching 8 movies of Harry Potter in succession (maybe even Woman in Black to soothe my feels).

Yes, I’m a binge watcher.

Whether you’re just like me or prefer the theater environment where the lights are dim and the screen is massive, most of us are movie buffs especially with the booming culture of film adaptation of books, reboots of well-loved movies like Spiderman and sequels or prequels of fandom hits like Star Wars. To be honest, I wasn’t always adept at finding THE best movies. I had to consciously google reviews and binge watch movie trailers. I’ve always wished there were suggestion blogs where I could go and just pick out what I wanna watch. After working for movie review blogs, I thought hey maybe I can do trailer reviews for my own blog if I ever have one.

So here’s 2015 me, following up on a 2013 promise.

Here are a few trailers of movies either out now, have been out for a few months or are yet to be released that I thought might be good to share. As we have different tastes in movies, I’ve tried to keep this as diverse as possible but you have to forgive the geek in me, it always makes an appearance.

AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON

I don’t wanna reveal too much for the non-comic book readers but this much-awaited installment of the Avengers franchise centers on an artificial intelligence technology originally developed by Tony Stark, Ultron, which turned evil and is now hellbent on destroying our protagonists and the world along with it. You’ll see the return of our favorite heroes like Thor, Captain America, Ironman, the Hulk and Black Widow, whose story btw we’ll get glimpses of on this film.

DUFF

This is the movie adaptaion of Kody Keplinger’s coming-of-age teen fiction book with the same name.

Like most high school set stories, it underlines the ‘LABEL’ culture where jocks and mean girls are hot and worshiped while the nerds are scavenging scraps of a social life at the bottom. This movie though will introduce a new label, DUFF or a designated ugly, fat friend who doesn’t necessarily have to be ugly or fat (not that I believe either adjective should exist in anyone’s vocabulary) but according to high school norms is the least attractive. How superficial right? Welcome to high school!

It chronicles our DUFF’s journey to being un-DUFFed all the while discovering herself and hopefully a new romance.

TRUE STORY

It’s like seeing Jonah Hill grow up right before my eyes, from his usual funny role in 21 Jump Street to the Oscar nominated Wolf of Wall Street to another movie heavy weight that would haunt you with so many questions after seeing a 2 minute trailer. It’s about this toxic relationship between a disgraced journalist, Michael Finkel and an FBI Most Wanted List murderer, Christian Longo.

If the plot isn’t enough to convince you to go see it, go because it’s James Franco and it’s always a thrill seeing him on screen (or maybe that’s just me). Kidding aside, this is one of the movies I’m looking forward to the most. It has my 3 favorites: a good plot, good actors and truth- as it’s based on a real life story.

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The Barden Bellas are back for more covers and laughs. It’s a been a few years since they first popularized the Cups Song and a lot of people are still covering it so it’s safe to say that expectations are high especially with Hollywood being extremely supportive of movie musicals these days. If the trailer’s any tell though, this movie’s gonna deliver. With the promise of world competitions and more romance for Jesse and Beca, I’m definitely lining up for this.

THE AGE OF ADALINE

Blake Lively plays Adaline Bowman who has miraculously remained 29 years old for nearly eight decades after an accident that should have been deadly but became magical instead. Although immortality is the gift of a lifetime to most, the story shows its pitfalls like never allowing yourself to get close to anyone lest they discover your secret or watching the people you live for die.

I’ve learned to expect a lot of negativity when it comes to immortality movies especially those premised on mystic logic but I find the plot thrilling enough to recommend to you guys. Give it a chance and tell me what you think.

So that’s it for my movie recommendations. If you go watch any of the movies, tell me how it does on your movie standards. I’d love to hear them. 

#nicerinternet Dan Howell

I know I posted a Tyler Oakley blog about half an hour ago but Dan just tweeted and made a video about a really good campaign that focuses on conduct on the internet. It’s something I feel strongly about so I thought why not write another blog today.

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Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we had #niceinternet or at least lesser jerks online?

Jerks lurk everywhere, real or virtual life. These are the people who seem to be motivated by irritation every single day and in most their interactions.

‘What would you like sir?”

“Someone other than your lazy ass to serve me!”

or

“You look nice today.”

“You don’t. EVER!”

See what I mean?

The cloak of anonymity the internet provides makes it easier to be douche when in most circumstances, we aren’t Sure, the jerks still mostly act like jerks online but there’s a new breed of people who mindlessly say things just because NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. They tweet and comment hate after hate because the consequences are so minute, it barely matters.

This has become a culture, internet culture.

If you’re the object of such rudeness, know that it’s mostly likely not about you but more about what the other person is feeling or going through just being projected onto you. It doesn’t make what he’s doing okay but it will help you be the better person and not engage him on the same level. Trust me, mudslinging is only fun for those who are already covered in it. End the cycle and respond with kinder words or not at all.

For those who think they can be jerks or just harsh at times, there will always be bad days but don’t make it an excuse to make it worse for someone else. Barney’s cycle of screams from How I Met Your Mother doesn’t work guys. You’re just breeding a cycle of hate that one day will come back to you. Most likely that person who made you feel like shit has another person who did that him or maybe even a series of people continuously making feel like shit. You don’t have to be that person for anyone else. End the cycle and find other means to release the tension or sadness.

You can even watch Dan’s videos to make yourself feel better. You can start with this one.

 I refuse to accept that we can’t do anything about it and I’m glad there are people like Dan who believe that a #nicerinternet is possible. If you do too, share this blog and the video with it a much as you can. Tweet about a #nicerinternet. Spread the word and start making all your internet posts nicer ones. 🙂

#teaminternet youtuber TYLER OAKLEY

As the hashtag was coined by the queen himself, I though why not start with the self promotion genius that is Tyler Oakley. I’m gonna assume that as you’re reading this post, you’re one of 3 people: a. You’re a loyal subject who has watched every video, RTed every tweet and donated so much money and time to his causes. YOU LOVE HIM and are happy you at least breathe the same air no matter how much long that air may have traveled. b. You’ve heard of him, not really seen any of his videos or just a few of them. c. Who the hell is Tyler Oakley? (You’re missing out!)

As you may have already guessed, I’m a proud A. I adore Tyler, what he stands for and how he delivers it.

I’m aware that there’s haters out there, as there is for everyone. Thus making the 4th kind of person. If you’re one of them, you can either find another entry that’s more suited for you to read because there’s no way I’m slamming my queen (loyalty counts for something) or you can read on and find out more of the greatness that is this cotton-candy-colored-hair human being. You never know, you just might like him after this. *wink*

IF YOU FEEL LIKE A LOSER

THE ‘BOYFRIEND’ TAG

Tyler Oakley Interviews Michelle Obama

After all those videos, I think Tyler’s happy disposition and no nonsense stance on issues he feels strongly about is more than enough to give you a glimpse into his character and his usual vlogs. If it’s not, then here’s a run down. He’s a twenty something youtuber with videos that range from self image pep talk, coming out tips, thoughts on books and movies to opening fan mail and answering silly questions from devoted (slightly stalkerish- *coughs*ME) fans. Although he’s well known for his humor, fashion and pastel hair, he supports very serious campaigns like the Trevor Project, a group that focuses on suicide prevention among LGBT since 1998. Last year Tyler wanted to raise a hundred thousand dollars for them and ended up with half a million. Now that’s an achievement, proving that good people come in all forms and packages- sometimes REALLY colorful packages.

I’ll end this entry with Tyler’s 2014 round up and with my fingers crossed that you loved his videos as much I do. If you do, subscribe to his channel linked below and find time to support his campaign to raise half a million dollars for his birthday this month, again for Trevor Project.

LINKS

Tyler’s channel: https://www.youtube.com/user/tyleroakley

To chip in with your donation to Trevor: http://prizeo.com/tyler

 

 

 

just for some structure

I’ve been thinking of a way to reorganize my blog for AWHILE and by awhile I mean the last few months I’ve actually been off it. I get those strange flashes of mild OCD and often it bugs because it’s paralyzing. I feel like I couldn’t move or accomplish anything else unless I deal with those minute details that bug me so much. It’s like having a gum stuck to your shoe, most people don’t notice it but I could feel it subtly nagging me every step I take so I end up seated in a park bench somewhere desperately trying to remove it.

Yes, I’m one of those people.

So I decided I wanna have some structure for this blog, not too much as I still wanna post my unpopular opinion rants on here which by the way was the reason I started this blog. That’s still my main focus, discussing social issues from the perspective of someone whose stance is both logical and attached. I may get emotional on these sometimes but that’s just because I feel strongly about some topics like gay rights, depression, bullying, self image issues and other sociopolitical topics.

In addition to my usual rants, I wanna introduce you to the geek that’s me as well. I’ve said a million times on here how big of a bookworm I am. I don’t even mind people calling me a geek or a dork or even a nerd. I wave that flag proudly. I’ll be posting on

stacked: book recos (paperbacks and wattpad finds) and comic book updates

couch potato: movies to watch out for with their handy trailers, movies I just watched with my idea of a review and tv series I’ve recently been obsessed with

#teaminternet: as the name already suggests, just some random, really talented people I found off the internet like youtube, vine, wordpress, IG, twitter and facebook

and the rest will be random dorky posts like always.

This year is also my bucket list year, meaning a lot of travelling. I thought it would be fun to post snippets about it. Just some places to see and things to try when you’re trekking that part of the globe. Maybe even posts on the best deals for hotels, rides and restos. These will all be on the gypsy tab, that’s the category under my home page. If you love exploring, definitely check it out.

Then there’s my occasional instagram-worthy photos and spur of the moment poetry, they will still be on the ARTsy tab. They’re not Picasso but if you like art with a quirk then you just may like what I do.

I think that’s about it. I feel all grown-up organizing stuff like this. I hope you like it as much as I do. *wink*