For the lonely souls obsessed with ice cream

There’s nothing much about today that I find interesting, but for some reason I wanted to write. Has that ever happened to you before?

THE COMPLETE LACK OF SIGNIFICANCE

BUT THE OVERWHELMING NEED TO SHARE THE WITH SOMEONE

Does that mean I’m lonely?

Or illogical?

Perhaps I’m just delayed on my period again and my hormones are going mad.

Here’s my point in this completely random entry. Sometimes the things that make us feel better don’t make much sense. I mean, I don’t get why anyone want chocolates when they sad – apart from the biological reason – or why driving around makes someone think clearer. I can only speak for what makes me happier or, at least, feel a little less like a menopausal 24-year old.

I need to write.

What’s your pint of ice cream or box pizza when you feel unusually down?

how to get through a bad day

Ask why.

I’ve been told one too many times by one too many people that the best way to get through a bad say is to just ‘choose’ to be happy, and I do believe that happiness is a choice. The important consideration though is how.

How do you choose to be happy when your hormones have been betraying you for the past 24 hours or more? 

Over the years, I’ve learned simple remedies, like I’m content snuggling under the covers and letting the pages of Murakami lighten my mood or munching down a whole pizza – yes, by myself. They’re the fairy dust to my weary soul.

Pizza Bianca’s my current favorite, but a simple pepperoni or cheese pizza’s perfect too.

I know I mentioned Murakami (and I’ve read most his words… twice, fine A LOT of times), but this is the book series I’m finishing up right now; they’re by Tahereh Mafi. You may wanna give it a read.

Although if the bad days keep recurring, you may wanna consider a different approach. Those little pockets of happiness we reserve for ourselves when we’ve had a particularly long week at work or taxing, borderline inhuman final exams are insignificant bandaids that may feign as solutions to what truly makes a ‘day’ bad.

I won’t pretend to be an expert, but from experience, I realized that often that the heavy feeling we get for, most likely, juvenile to no reason at all may be unresolved issues triggered by the most minute of events. They will keep nagging at us, capitalizing on the simplest flaw, until we finally resolve them from the roots. All that, it starts with one question:

Why?

how to give it to him straight

(no pun intended)

Let me start by saying this isn’t an easy post. I went back and forth. I finally decided to publish it after having a long talk with my cousin who convinced me that this is indeed AN ARTICLE WORTH WRITING and that I shouldn’t be scared about what people will say or how they’ll react because I never was before this anyway.

 

I know. I think I’ve always known you’re gay and a part me of thinks you’ve known for awhile too. I won’t insult you by describing the times you made me realize it but like Bobby’s mom said, ‘You always know.’ I don’t know if in the many conversations we had, you tried to tell me. If you did and it didn’t work out or I just wasn’t listening well enough, I’m so sorry. I can get caught up in the noise sometimes and you know we’re a noisy crowd.

There are days when I feel so helpless because I can’t just hug you and tell you it’s gonna be okay. You haven’t even trusted me with your secret yet so all I could do is wait for the time when you’re ready. I wanted to write this for when that time comes. This will be the proof that I’ve always supported you, whoever you are and whoever you choose to love.

It won’t be easy because we still live in a society where you’re an anomaly (that word hurts me more than you know). Trust me when I say it’s all gonna be okay. I’m here for you. We’re all here rooting for you. When the harshest, most painful slings from others and even from people you love come, I promise to stand beside you and just be around for whatever you need.

I want you to know how much I love you. I hope when you finally get to read this you’ll be a proud, happy and free man.

photo from comingoutjournal.tumblr.com

I am reaching out to all those who were in my position or those in his. What should I do? I don’t want him to think no one cares. WE don’t want to make the mistake of just ignoring it but in the end make him feel unaccepted or that he can’t tell us anything.

 

***

Note: Bobby from the entry is a reference to Prayers for Bobby a 2009 movie exploring the life of a closeted gay Christian finally coming out to his family and how being ostracized drove him to take his own life.

 

 

 

the universe and I

Even before Paolo Coelho’s The Alchemist, I’ve heard many say that if something is yours the universe will conspire to give it to you. If that’s true then does the inverse of it also speak of the truth? If you’re not meant to be something, be with someone or travel somewhere, will the universe also work its magic for it not to happen?

Other than giving up to the forces which we cannot explain, there are 2 other ways to look at it.

If giving up was always an option, you won't have a life left to live.

If giving up was always an option, you won’t have a life left to live.

I can stand up and fight harder than everyone else to get what I want. Prove the universe wrong and persuade it to write me a different story or at least cut me some slack. Proving we deserve something is like exercise in the morning. It’s a painful habit to start and you may wiggle your way out of it for the first few weeks but if you’re determined to be healthier, you will work harder and stick to it. You are fully aware that the best option is the one you chose no matter how difficult the path may be and it will pay off.   The pounds will be shed and the toned body will be revealed. You’ll be proud you stuck with it despite the difficulty.

OR

I’ll take a hint and I’ll let life take me to where I’m supposed to go. Sooner or later I will find what it is that the universe is directing me toward. Maybe it’s not the corner office with a view, a new house in the suburbs, that perfect hot neighbor I’ve been eyeing but there is something that is reserved just for me. For the most part, we get so engrossed with our goals we forget why we have them to begin with. Why do I want that raise? Why do I want a new car? Why do I want fame and fans and glamour? Why do I keep a checklist of the perfect guy, the perfect kids and the perfect house? We have to slow down and listen. Listen to the universe and its hints and shoves towards the right direction because this may just be the world echoing what our inner voice has been telling us all along. We were just too busy to pay attention.

Listen or defy the universe, up to you. JUST TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH and find you happiness.

Listen or defy the universe, up to you. JUST TAKE A LEAP OF FAITH and find your happiness.