#PrideMonth entry 1: my best friend

Five years ago (in uni), I was blessed with the most amazing debate partner anyone could ask for, and he’s still one of my best friends. Everyday, I’m grateful that he is who he is and that I got to meet him. If there was anyone to discriminate against him – call him names, deprive him of rights, belittle him, I will not sit idly, and watch. I’ll make sure they (whoever they are) understand that no one deserves to be treated that way. As much as I can logically argue for rights, I would admit that LGBT, in particular, is a personal cause for me. When I hear people say that gays shouldn’t be allowed to marry or adopt kids, they’re saying that my best friend who, for the past tumultuous six years of my life, has been a rock and a supporter, is not good enough to reaffirm his love for another or build a family just because of his sexual preference. That, I cannot stand. Who you are and who you choose to love is not reason to be treated with any less dignity than any other person. You deserve to be seen as an equal because you are. 

Advertisements

beach blues

Summers around the world vary, clearly. Don’t worry I won’t dork out this post by subtly discussing seasonal differences all over the world (although it’s very tempting). For me though, as soon as you can walk outside in one layer of clothes without feeling like you’re about to become the next flavor or Ben and Jerry’s, it’s summer! Which means that right about now, I’m having those urges to frequent the beach or go on hikes or even book a spontaneous international flight (to Bali, maybe).

Are you having the same thoughts? Tell me all about it on the comments below. I’m planning to write another summer bucket list and must tries. Do you guys have anything in mind? To be honest, I wanna be super active and try new things this summer like water sports (surfing, wakeboarding)

1-Misibis Bay

or go on an unplanned road trip to somewhere I’ve never been before

and try local delicacies I’ve never seen or heard before (good luck tummy).

Whatever my summer plans (or the lack thereof) are, my goal is to live it and enjoy it. Come try it with me? *wink*

just for some structure

I’ve been thinking of a way to reorganize my blog for AWHILE and by awhile I mean the last few months I’ve actually been off it. I get those strange flashes of mild OCD and often it bugs because it’s paralyzing. I feel like I couldn’t move or accomplish anything else unless I deal with those minute details that bug me so much. It’s like having a gum stuck to your shoe, most people don’t notice it but I could feel it subtly nagging me every step I take so I end up seated in a park bench somewhere desperately trying to remove it.

Yes, I’m one of those people.

So I decided I wanna have some structure for this blog, not too much as I still wanna post my unpopular opinion rants on here which by the way was the reason I started this blog. That’s still my main focus, discussing social issues from the perspective of someone whose stance is both logical and attached. I may get emotional on these sometimes but that’s just because I feel strongly about some topics like gay rights, depression, bullying, self image issues and other sociopolitical topics.

In addition to my usual rants, I wanna introduce you to the geek that’s me as well. I’ve said a million times on here how big of a bookworm I am. I don’t even mind people calling me a geek or a dork or even a nerd. I wave that flag proudly. I’ll be posting on

stacked: book recos (paperbacks and wattpad finds) and comic book updates

couch potato: movies to watch out for with their handy trailers, movies I just watched with my idea of a review and tv series I’ve recently been obsessed with

#teaminternet: as the name already suggests, just some random, really talented people I found off the internet like youtube, vine, wordpress, IG, twitter and facebook

and the rest will be random dorky posts like always.

This year is also my bucket list year, meaning a lot of travelling. I thought it would be fun to post snippets about it. Just some places to see and things to try when you’re trekking that part of the globe. Maybe even posts on the best deals for hotels, rides and restos. These will all be on the gypsy tab, that’s the category under my home page. If you love exploring, definitely check it out.

Then there’s my occasional instagram-worthy photos and spur of the moment poetry, they will still be on the ARTsy tab. They’re not Picasso but if you like art with a quirk then you just may like what I do.

I think that’s about it. I feel all grown-up organizing stuff like this. I hope you like it as much as I do. *wink*

united colors of bullies

It’s been awhile since I last put up an entry and before I start sobbing and saying sorry for leaving you guys hanging, let me just say that I had a tough month writing 15 chapters of a book I’m hoping to publish. So please please put down the pitch forks, I’m not one to make excuses but my brain was fried (figuratively of course).

Today I thought it would be fun to write about a topic that inspired one of my book concepts and that is bullies– in all their colors and varieties. We already know about the obvious ones, which mind you are a scary lot but there are more subtle versions. They hide under the covers labeling themselves something more beautiful and attractive. The magpie in us grovel for the promise that it oh so boldly declares then we realize later on that the shine it has is all that it is, shine.

The inspiration came from a nostalgic evening of coffee with 2 of my best friends- after they convinced me to keep writing on this blog because THEY ACTUALLY READ IT AND LIKE IT. Imagine my surprise when they started talking about entries I wrote, I mean these are my overly critical, highly intellectual and difficult to please best friends we’re talking about. My self loathing subconscious found that difficult to believe and quite frankly, I was speechless for a few moments.

On the same night, we realized a lot about the path we took together in college. We gave up so much to be that image of an over achieving student whose main goal is to get the best grades, manage as many  extra curriculars and maintain as few creative, non logical pursuits as we can. Labels and expectations- the box they made for us- those were our bullies. 

photo from caity-bullying.blogspot.com

I’ve finally learned that bullies don’t just come in different kinds of people, they come in every shape, size or form. I may not have been shoved around or locked in a janitor’s closet by some teen fiction stereotype queen bee but I’ve been confined in a society where there’s a predetermined standard of beauty- one which some may claim I don’t fit. That norm, that belief, that is my own brand of bully. It follows me around, taunting me to cinch around my curves and smoothen my edges to fit this overused mold already made for me.

When I  found enough courage and fought back, told society to shove its size zero, fair-skinned, blonde perfection up their bums, another bully manifested from the shadows- one far stronger and more paralyzing than its predecessor. The firm grip of its manacle, over sized hands smother me with ridicule of how success has and will continue to elude me because the career I chose to love and devote my life to will not earn me millions, buy me a mansion or a jet-setting lifestyle

Your bullies may be far more frightening or life threatening than mine. I can’t be the judge of that and I won’t try to. If there’s one thing I took away from dealing with bully after bully, people and circumstances alike, they’re never as easy to deal with as they they seem on the outside. It’s a bully for a reason. They know your weakness and capitalize on it as much as they can so you’re hurt in the worst possible way. They planned the perfect, most gruesome way to twist and turn the knife they stuck to your heart so you’re left clutching at it, trying to rip it off and stop the bleeding.

tumblr_mt2mdnw6jr1r22oxyo1_500

But if you don’t know already, let me be the first to tell you, you’re far stronger than any of your bullies. You have the ability heal and those battle scars will remind you every day of how you fought and how you deserve to be happy- HOW YOU’RE WORTH A LIFE YOU CHOSE TO LIVE and not one chosen by some thug or an unfortunate circumstance for you. 

You get one shot at life my friend, don’t let some bully take that away from you. 

hiatus finally over

tumblr_m2yr20CeMd1ro8qpo

 

MISCHIEF MANAGED.

To the Potterheads, you may already know what that means. Simply it means that whatever I’ve been up to- and clearly, it’s been fun and hectic that I wasn’t able to update my blog for a while- is finally OVER. Honestly, I’m not sure if I’m truly happy that it’s over but I’m definitely glad to be back and writing again. I needed this, actually more than I thought I did.

So you’ll be reading more from me soon. 🙂

DELETE (tweets, posts, entries)

I tweeted out something this morning that I thought was pretty well constructed. Boy was I wrong. Turns out I missed an article which for a girl with grammar OCD is pretty glaring. Well, I thought I could just delete that tweet like I always do when I spy something wrong or unappealing about anything I send out to the virtual world. Just one click and buh-bye!

photo from lynndae.tumblr.com

But is erasing an error that easy? Could you really wipe away a blunder with a swift stroke? No, it doesn’t work that way. If it did, we’d be a world of righteous do-gooders. More than the consciousness of righting a wrong, I find the culture of getting off the hook so quickly for something you do mindlessly is perpetuating society. It’s great that you’re keen enough to notice a mistake and correct it but why were you able to make a mistake in the first place? Have you ever considered that the ease of correcting a mistake is directly proportionate to the tendency to commit it?

Take baking for example, we measure ingredients down to the last teaspoon because we know even the smallest inaccuracy in measurement can cause the cake not to rise or taste bitter or burn. The knowledge that we are doing something so intricate encourages us to think more clearly and act more carefully.

I’m not suggesting never doing anything crazy or spontaneous for fear of making mistakes or things not working out but instead to stop half thinking when doing menial jobs like tweeting or cleaning the house or texting. If you have a preconceived notion that you can easily right whatever stupid thing you do, you’ll condition yourself to do that even in the more important things you engage in. After all, habits are only repeated actions.

So here’s what I’ll do, I promise to double/ triple check my posts before I publish them and {this particular clause I might violate now and then but I promise to try really hard} if there are any mistakes I won’t correct them anymore. I have to learn 2 lessons here and I wanna share them with you. First if I care enough, I should check enough and not always fall back on ‘I can come back and correct it anyway’. Second, that some mistakes are meant to made. If you did your best not to make them but you still did, maybe the best to do is accept you made them and just learn from it rather than pretend it never happened.

 

***

Don’t worry. This isn’t a correction, only an addition.

I’m not implying that you never try to correct your mistakes. You should, if you can that is. I merely want to train myself not to err because I have safeguards i.e. deleting a tweet after considering how stupid it sounds. Removing that safeguard forces me to be more careful. This are but training wheels. When I don’t feel the urge to keep correcting mistakes I should not have made in the first place, I’ll let up on myself a bit.

an anniversary post

It’s been a year since I first started blogging. YES, one whole year.

If I could tell the year ago me one thing, one advice about blogging, I’d say it gets better. To be completely honest, my first few entries were probably the most difficult to write (if they were as difficult to read- sorry). They weren’t close to argumentative or were well-researched, in fact they were personal experiences I care deeply about like my weight, overcoming self image issues, childhood memories, growing up very independent, friends, losing people I love, sacrifices, social acceptance and so much more.

Writing those entries was grueling but the real challenge was clicking publish. Watching your thoughts, feelings, secrets form words on the screen is one thing. Having someone you’ve probably never met read and judge you for it, that’s an entirely different story. Over time, with the help of your likes and your constructive comments, I got through it. I found enough confidence in myself to keep writing and see this blog through- another achievement (finally sticking to something).

Thanks guys. I owe you big time. 

photo from chibird.com

A big hug to all those who read, liked, commented, subscribed and followed my blog