I have the sweetest little sister anyone could ever ask for. She’s a diligent straight A student who hates confrontations and shies away from compliments so imagine my surprise when we had this conversation last night.
HER: Maybe I should be tougher, meaner.
ME: Why? What’s up with you?
HER: I just think that people always expect me to do everything because I’m too nice. I don’t scream when I ask them and don’t make scene when they don’t do anything.
ME: Never stop being nice to accommodate people being rude. People will always try to corrupt the good that you have; don’t ever give in to that.
Being tough and strong is different from being mean and rude. You don’t measure strength by the decibels of her yelling in an argument nor do you see it when he seemingly doesn’t care about anyone else. In fact, I think you’re stronger when you have enough courage to retain a good attitude and continue to care even in the worst possible circumstances, even when people take advantage of it.
Anger every once in while is not a bad thing but allowing it to take over you so people would listen or do what you ask of them isn’t healthy. If you allow people to bully you into changing, even if that’s to becoming a bigger bully than the other person is, that becomes your default. Your go-to is giving in and being mean to people when you’re stressed.
You thought you solved the problem by elbowing someone into submission, what you don’t realize is there are bigger bullies out there just waiting for the their next target. If you grow into a louder, angrier, meaner person every time you encounter someone abrasive or uncaring, you’ll grow callous and probably so much worse than every bully you’ve ever encountered.
Frankly I just don’t think it’s worth it.
In the short run, you may have gotten what you want but in the long run, you will have lost an amazing outlook in life and attitude towards people. You lost out because you changed the good in you to respond to the bad others show you.
My little sister and I love taking pictures especially when we’re together. These are some of the photos we took while having this conversation.