#nicerinternet Dan Howell

I know I posted a Tyler Oakley blog about half an hour ago but Dan just tweeted and made a video about a really good campaign that focuses on conduct on the internet. It’s something I feel strongly about so I thought why not write another blog today.

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Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we had #niceinternet or at least lesser jerks online?

Jerks lurk everywhere, real or virtual life. These are the people who seem to be motivated by irritation every single day and in most their interactions.

‘What would you like sir?”

“Someone other than your lazy ass to serve me!”

or

“You look nice today.”

“You don’t. EVER!”

See what I mean?

The cloak of anonymity the internet provides makes it easier to be douche when in most circumstances, we aren’t Sure, the jerks still mostly act like jerks online but there’s a new breed of people who mindlessly say things just because NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. They tweet and comment hate after hate because the consequences are so minute, it barely matters.

This has become a culture, internet culture.

If you’re the object of such rudeness, know that it’s mostly likely not about you but more about what the other person is feeling or going through just being projected onto you. It doesn’t make what he’s doing okay but it will help you be the better person and not engage him on the same level. Trust me, mudslinging is only fun for those who are already covered in it. End the cycle and respond with kinder words or not at all.

For those who think they can be jerks or just harsh at times, there will always be bad days but don’t make it an excuse to make it worse for someone else. Barney’s cycle of screams from How I Met Your Mother doesn’t work guys. You’re just breeding a cycle of hate that one day will come back to you. Most likely that person who made you feel like shit has another person who did that him or maybe even a series of people continuously making feel like shit. You don’t have to be that person for anyone else. End the cycle and find other means to release the tension or sadness.

You can even watch Dan’s videos to make yourself feel better. You can start with this one.

 I refuse to accept that we can’t do anything about it and I’m glad there are people like Dan who believe that a #nicerinternet is possible. If you do too, share this blog and the video with it a much as you can. Tweet about a #nicerinternet. Spread the word and start making all your internet posts nicer ones. 🙂

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#SuicideAwarenessDay

That moment when you’re so eager to write about something you feel so strongly about that a million words are begging to burst out and be written but at the same time as the pen hovers over the paper, nothing comes out- not a single word, well I’m having one such moment. I’m just unsure of how to begin this. Do I start with statistics or quotes or pictures or my own experience or someone else’s that has helped shape my own? Something compelling enough to interest you but honest still that it remains as meaningful as it should. Let me start with this:

Suspend your judgments. Suicide isn’t just about statistics, it’s about stories.

suicide

Some of you will judge this entry the same way you judge every person who committed suicide or have tried to, with extreme prejudice and I ask for the sake of this day and this discussion that you open your mind to opinions other than your own. The fault of this bunch, which I don’t find a fault at all but many will, is how we see things. You see them at eye level, for what it is. We see them from overhead, standing on a table and seeing ourselves in comparison to others, in association with things we don’t have or the person we can never be, happy.

I will not generalize the neigh sayers, they come from different backgrounds and varied beliefs, nor will I stereotype those who have had this problem. Trust me they’re not always the guy with the heavy eyeliner make up and a blade pendant secured around his neck. It’s not as plain and black and white as that. Sometimes it’s the town’s golden girl who maintains straight As and is quietly drowning in the pressure of perfection or maybe the quiet kid who sits at the back of the class who is invisible to everyone but the restroom mirror where he spends his lunch dismantling a sharpener.

I'm scared | via Tumblr

To them suicide is a way out, not selfish but reasonable. To stay in a cycle where you’re constantly unhappy and alone, feeling either like a huge disappointment or anonymous is not worth living over every single day. That thought consumes you and dulls every form of happiness most people savor. TELLING US TO GET IT TOGETHER AND DISMISSING OUR WORRIES WON’T HELP BECAUSE REALLY WHEN YOU DO THAT, YOU’RE BRUSHING US OFF. Were you even listening or were you too busy judging us and labeling our problem  non existent because it’s not cancer or ebola virus?

I am in no way advocating for suicide, not because it’s cowardly but because YOU’RE WORTH A LIFE. Trust me when I say that no matter how bleak and dark your life is right now, I need you to hang in there. YOU ARE WORTH EVERYDAY YOU FIGHT FOR. YOU WILL FIND HAPPINESS ONE DAY AND IT WILL BE EVEN MORE WORTH IT BECAUSE YOU KNOW HOW HARD YOU FOUGHT FOR IT. I’m sorry you had to in the first place but trust that your strong enough to overcome this and know that wherever you are, no matter how alone you feel, you never are. 

And to those whose made it and are now happier and better, I am so proud of you. You deserve every praise for deciding to stay and choosing to stick with it every single day since. I wish you the happiest of days, you deserve no less for the courage and strength you’ve shown. There may still be rough patches ahead but find comfort in the fact that the enemy you fought already lost a few times before and you have the upper hand because you’re stronger than all you demons.

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My friend mentioned a few days ago how pointless suicide hotlines are because if you really wanna kill yourself, why would you want someone to stop you? She has a good point actually and I’ve considered coming up with alternatives. Although I’d like to think that it’s because most of them, deep down just want a reason to stay. Here’s one:

Everyone is worth saving. YOU ARE WORTH SAVING.

So be it on #SuicideAwarenessDay or any other day of the year, if you ever feel like throwing in the towel, talk to someone. Sometimes we only need reminding of how much we’re worth. There’s no shame in that.

And to everyone else reading this post, I hope you’ll find it in your heart to be nicer, more open-minded and understanding of people whose circumstances may be far from your own. Give that shy guy beside you a chance. Talk to the girl who consciously fiddles with her shorts at gym class. Avoid stereotyping the abrasive jock loitering the hallway. Tweet someone you’ve never talked to words encouragement when she seems down and ask about her day. Get to know to know them and give them more reasons to love the lives the they have and the people that they are. A simple act of care and kindness will go a long way especially to someone who doubts he’ll ever get any.

You matter.

#depression

I realised.. IM HERE FOR YOU ♡♥♡

One morning I woke up with an unfamiliar material draped securely on my back. It was heavy and cold and it very much resembled a cloak- like in one of those old Hollywood movies. The fabric clung to me like second skin, choking, smothering and weighing me down while it slyly remains invisible to the eyes of even those staring right at me. No matter how hard I fidget, move my body like a convulsing freak, grab at it, try to tear it away from my body with all the strength my man hands could muster, it remains rigid and unrelenting. There are days when I feel the grip tightening, leaving steady marks on my skin that will remind me of how it possessed me for as long as I live.

It’s daunting to admit how much it’s affecting a full grown person with rationality and control. The fear of judgment and ridicule in society where the easiest response would be to ask if the cloak truly exists or if I made it up because I’m either crazy or in CRAZY need of attention. Either way I will be labelled a freak and avoided like a plague or talked to behind my back. To the few who care enough to consider that there MAY be a cloak, they’ll look you from head to toe and when they see no physical manifestations of a life threatening cloak. They walk away claiming that you’re lucky it won’t require surgery. At that moment, I wish it did. Maybe I’ll get more help if people can physically see the pain an invisible cloak is causing me.

You might know the cloak by its common name, depression.

its not fair how i see everyone breathing.

Yes my lovely readers, how timely right? Just as the world is  confused, bewildered and pained by Robin Williams’ death, one caused by this cloak itself, I decide to write about it. Well to be honest this entry was inspired by him. I have been struggling to write anything on this subject for years, ever since I started this blog actually, but I never had the courage, words or inspiration to even start. That changed when I was aimlessly browsing through my twitter feeds and froze on one of the trends. I think we all know which trend it was.

#RIPRobinWilliams

A thousand RTs, skimmed articles and a full blown movie marathon later, I decided I need to write something about this. Screw inhibitions and fear, depression is a real thing and it has to be talked about because more and more people are falling victim to it and very few seem to take it seriously. The most infuriating yet common reaction we get is it’ll pass or get over it. Those are the words of an ignorant person brushing off something purely because he has no clue what it is. The same words that will make the lot of us, already depressed, consider ourselves even bigger freaks than we already think.

I doesnt.

Depression, unlike physical illnesses with very visible manifestations, is often treated as a whim of some attention seeking person who is bored of his own life that’s why he needs to make up some disease that cannot be visually assessed. The truth however is depression gnaws at you from the inside, turning every thought, every memory, every experience into a black hole that sucks the life out of you while you seem completely a-okay on the outside. You feel disabled without the advantage of a parking space. In  two  very cliché words : it sucks.

so fucking true

There is no standard to depression. It varies for each one and I could spend the whole day discussing to you the many kinds but really what those going through this need from you is just one thing, your understanding.

UNDERSTANDING

It may sound so easy, so fundamental in fact but to truly understand someone who goes through that requires for you to suspend your prejudices and preconceived notion fed by some exaggerated movie or oblivious hearsay. We don’t all cut or binge or drink meds or listen to sad songs or plaster a frown on our faces. Often even a smile is the most believable lie one gets to tell. Funny though, almost everyone falls for it. Depression too is not to be stereotyped.

For those still trapped in their cloaks, hang in there and stay strong. Fight to be happy because you’re worth no less. Find comfort in the promise that you’re not alone and somebody on the other end of this screen understands and appreciates you.  I do care and I’ll keep fighting, I’d love for you join me. –winks-

perhaps?

on HATE

Hate and all its cruel manifestations are products of different circumstances in our lives. We cannot say that they are all the same or that they all come in the same degree or last for the same lengths of time but what we know is that when we feel it, it can be very destructive.

A year ago I was told of a secret that shattered my belief in relationships and my recently restored trust in people. I know that sounds melodramatic and depressing but if I did not feel those at that time I’d be worried where my emotions went or if I even have them.

Bear with me as I cannot discuss further the specifics of that event, both for your benefit and mine. I have accepted it but I’m not proud of it. The bottom line is this, she lied. She betrayed me for the longest time and all she could muster after that is a sorry-not even a heartfelt one. I played the rational card and stayed strong. Trust me, there was no bitch fight- not even yelling.

I HATED HER, in my heart I knew that but I never really admitted it until recently because I wanted to save the relationship. I thought by not confronting my feelings they will fade away. Soon I’ll forget I even felt them. But the more I denied them, the stronger they grew. It’s like trying to stop flood. No matter how many bolts the doors have, water will still seep through.

THE BEST WAY TO COPE IS TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL IT.

Do not punish yourself for feeling that way. Chances are you have every right to feel the way you feel but even if you don’t, castigating yourself because of how you feel towards someone will only encourage you to resent the person more.

When you feel that overpowering, enveloping need to hold on to the awful things a person did, recognize it. Understand it. In time you’ll learn to overcome it. Remind yourself that even the flood recedes after the rain