The Immeasurable Power of a Word Slip

It’s been years since I graced this blog, so forgive me if I sound a little off. Like the first time I wrote an entry, though, there are thoughts in my mind that just won’t shut up. They have taken over my supposed good day, and are now threatening to overthrow my good sense — meaning it’s hindering me from working.

So let me vent.

Don’t worry, it will be amusing.

Have you ever been in a position where you say things about someone without really thinking why you’re saying it? Some people call it word vomit, others a slip. Whatever you call it, it imprints an effect on people.

Resulta ng larawan para sa saying rude things tumblr

The effects vary in degrees, depending on what you let slip and just how important you are to the person you’re addressing with these words. Regardless, it’s an effect.

In the most basic of interactions, like a restaurant server and a customer, it could be fleeting. A comment like “move faster” is easily shrugged off, unless, of course, that person has his own deep-rooted hatred towards being asked to move faster than the sloth it was compared to.

There are thoughtless comments though that unintentionally change people. You may want the adverse effect or you may just want to make the person feel bad, but really, you have no control over the results you create.

I have seen this happen so many times, and I’ve been on both ends. Never to the extent that those I’m trying to call out here have gone, I hope. I’ve witnessed this in real life, and alarmingly, on most social media platforms. People resort to thoughtless ad hominem because of a political squabble. Good if it was at least based on facts, but most are ill-conceived. It’s unfortunate that people find the time to put these comments up, but not enough time to Google their validity. Guess it’s easier to say things you never took the time to think through, than it is to challenge your current bias or improve your instinctive responses.

Ever thought to stop and ask what random, negative comments say about you?

 

Because these are spur of the moment comments, it reveals more of you than it does about the person you’re addressing. You call them an idiot, and it shows how easy it is for you to reduce people to their ability to think, rather than their other contributions. You compare them to another person you deem as incompetent when they’re actually helping just because they’re not doing it at your pace shows your lack of grace and gratitude. Resorting to thoughtless rhetoric to make yourself feel better and the other worse shows how self-centered you are. It also reveals that, instinctively, the only way you can motivate people is through negativity.

dr__jekyll_and_mr__hyde___dark_mirror_by_neral85-d8m9raj

What do you think you’ve accomplished by doing that?

If you’re thinking you’ve gotten people to work harder for you, you’re wrong. You’ve convinced them to stay as far away from you as they can when they work. Do you comfort yourself with the thought that you’re only inspiring them to move faster and be better? No, you’re telling them that they’re not worth respect.

Although we are all human and will inevitably make mistakes like this, try… try not to. It’s one thing to do it, apologize and aspire not to do it again. It’s another to resort to it each time you want to gain the upper hand.

Be better, you owe the world and yourself that.

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

#nicerinternet Dan Howell

I know I posted a Tyler Oakley blog about half an hour ago but Dan just tweeted and made a video about a really good campaign that focuses on conduct on the internet. It’s something I feel strongly about so I thought why not write another blog today.

smiley 1 smiley 2

Wouldn’t the world be so much better if we had #niceinternet or at least lesser jerks online?

Jerks lurk everywhere, real or virtual life. These are the people who seem to be motivated by irritation every single day and in most their interactions.

‘What would you like sir?”

“Someone other than your lazy ass to serve me!”

or

“You look nice today.”

“You don’t. EVER!”

See what I mean?

The cloak of anonymity the internet provides makes it easier to be douche when in most circumstances, we aren’t Sure, the jerks still mostly act like jerks online but there’s a new breed of people who mindlessly say things just because NO ONE CAN DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT. They tweet and comment hate after hate because the consequences are so minute, it barely matters.

This has become a culture, internet culture.

If you’re the object of such rudeness, know that it’s mostly likely not about you but more about what the other person is feeling or going through just being projected onto you. It doesn’t make what he’s doing okay but it will help you be the better person and not engage him on the same level. Trust me, mudslinging is only fun for those who are already covered in it. End the cycle and respond with kinder words or not at all.

For those who think they can be jerks or just harsh at times, there will always be bad days but don’t make it an excuse to make it worse for someone else. Barney’s cycle of screams from How I Met Your Mother doesn’t work guys. You’re just breeding a cycle of hate that one day will come back to you. Most likely that person who made you feel like shit has another person who did that him or maybe even a series of people continuously making feel like shit. You don’t have to be that person for anyone else. End the cycle and find other means to release the tension or sadness.

You can even watch Dan’s videos to make yourself feel better. You can start with this one.

 I refuse to accept that we can’t do anything about it and I’m glad there are people like Dan who believe that a #nicerinternet is possible. If you do too, share this blog and the video with it a much as you can. Tweet about a #nicerinternet. Spread the word and start making all your internet posts nicer ones. 🙂

Image

when vanity will get you killed

Okay, okay, I get that #selfie is a trend these days but should anyone really be too engrossed as to get killed because of it? The past days my twitter feeds are flooded with pictures of couples in the middle of the street holding hands, all sweet and uncaring of the world around them. They’re happy, that’s great. But let me just remind you guys that whether the shot is brilliant or not is not necessarily the problem of the driver or DRIVERS passing by that lane. It’s a road- FOR CARS.

It was like this

or this

or this

*calming down* Since Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and other social networking and blogging sites have dominated the lives of every netizen *including me*, we’ve seen all kinds of reckless posted online. Pictures and videos of people hanging off a cliff, plopping on the bed head first, racy twerking all over the streets, romantic pictures taken in the middle of nowhere or in the midst of a bustling crowd of people, they’ve all graced our news feed at some point. These are all just expected consequences of having the internet so accessible to half the global population, if not more.

I am in no position, nor do I want to be, to judge what’s ‘too much’, ‘too racy’ or ‘too vain’ because it’s very relative but there are instances that are universally UN*friggin*ACCPETABLE and I think we’re all smart enough to know which ones these are. Like for example, standing in the middle of EDSA (a very congested road) or the national highway without any permit just to take a couple of pictures to post on instagram and hashtag selfie is bollocks. I don’t care which continent you’re from, you don’t do that. You’re gonna get people killed. The moral of this story is to know the limits of your vanity especially if it already affects more than just yourself.