perfection is boring

Huh! Got your attention right? After all, who in the right mind wouldn’t aspire for perfect but let me just get this out. I’ve been going through thousands of tweets, tumblr posts and facebook notifications in the last few days and they all harp a similar thought- it’s tiring, almost consuming trying to be perfect.

It’s frustrating because perfection is a moving target and often it’s one that others dictate. We all know the truth. There is no objective perfection because no one will agree with a specific set of standards to assess it and even if they do at one time, it changes too quickly to matter. So why do we aspire for it, to be it?

What does perfection offer that’s so appealing that we’re willing to change so much of ourselves and give so much of what usually makes us happy just to embody it?

photo from umsonho-de-garota.tumblr.com

Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with wanting to be better, wanting to please others. It’s human nature- we’re built to wanna interact with others and the best way to do that is to have them like us thus the constant pursuit of being everyone’s idea of  likable. Have you ever considered though that people who expect you to be perfect, to never commit mistakes- they too are dictated by somebody else’s idea of perfect? Those that dictate them also adhere to somebody else’s standard. In the end, perfection- especially with people- is nothing but a cycle of standards that although it wasn’t designed to, pressures us to be the best version of a non existent human being.

So here’s my take on it, you can wear yourself out trying to achieve a goal that is impossible but more importantly hollow or you can accept your unique, possibly not everybody’s idea of a perfect self. You can finally work on being the best you, no matter how eccentric and different rather than being the best somebody else. Makes sense?

my little secret

For some time I’ve been deliberating whether I should show my sketches and graffiti to other people, my friends especially. It was never a big secret that I love being creative– that when words fail me, I fall to drawings, doodles and caricature art. Back in primary school, everyone knew I drew but it was not exactly a big deal because most my friends are as artistic if not more artistic than I am.

photo from lastcanned.tumblr.com

As I grew older and labels started to get thrown around, most people forgot or never got to know that my creative side is an important part of me- that I love drawing (not saying I’m amazing though) as much as I love writing or speaking for causes. If they ask, I’d probably mention it in passing but often they don’t really wanna go into those things. It wasn’t in the usual run of our conversations.

True to my overly critical self, I became less and less confident about my works so it wasn’t now just an issue of no one asking. It became more of a constant need to hide it, suppress or deny it. I stopped drawing for awhile but I find myself going back to it when confronted with extreme emotions. Sometimes it will be as simple as doodles on my journal. Other times it will be as elaborate as painting my shirts or posters on my wall. If I could have gotten away with painting my room, I probably would.

I realized that my subconscious is telling me something very important. Drawing, painting, doodling, they’re not just an escape; they’re a part of who I am. Suppressing them because I think my abilities are inadequate won’t make me feel better about  them nor would it improve my ability to actually perform them. If I feel insecure about something as important to me as they are then I must work harder at them until I feel confident enough to share them or at least talk about them.

So here I am, trying to push myself to talk about it and share it to people who care enough to read my entries because I think it’s an important part of me and maybe also to inspire others that there’s nothing to be ashamed of about loving something so much even if you’re not exponentially good at it.

I’m not at a point where I can go around saying that I’m good at drawing or painting because I don’t think I am (YET). This girl is still hard at work improving herself. When I feel I’m ready, I’ll show it some more but at this moment I don’t feel embarrassed saying that I draw. I don’t have to downplay what it truly means to me and how much it has helped me. Plus, I thought you should know that I found that courage to ask a really good friend if he wanted to see some of my works. It was scary (and will probably sting a little if he hates them) but that’s all just part of it. I’m glad I did it because I know I eventually should trust the people that matter to me to love every part of me- no matter how imperfect, quirky or strange it is.

#trending

I read comic books, wear vintage clothes, listen to artsy and more alternative music, prefer indie films to mainstream ones and do not see marriage in my future despite having been brought up in a conservative Catholic family. It’s safe to say I’ve always had and eclectic taste and personality. Never have I felt the need to conform to trends or apologize for who I am all 22 years of my life. It’s not on purpose of course. There are days when I ask myself why I can’t just like what everyone else likes, see things the way most people do. That would definitely make shopping SOOOOOOO MUCH easier (and cheaper)! Like most people in the ‘out’, I do ask every now and then what is so good about being in the bandwagon. 

What are the perks of trend?

photo from bedetrends.tumblr.com

I’d like to think that genuine appreciation is the premise of those who follow trends, that the cool kids who are trend right and are welcome passengers of the bandwagon are truly into those they claim they absolutely LOVE. In some cases though, there are those who only like what they like because it’s all they know. After all, mainstream is called that for a reason. They get the most publicity therefore a bigger fanbase. In other cases, they’re scared to admit that they listen to, read, like something else because they fear the scrutiny of their peers or crave the approval of others.

Spread your wings!

If you’re the former then you need to spread your wings and fly a little further from the nest. Often the view is so much better but even if it isn’t at least you know you made an informed choice to find your way back to what you’re comfortable with. Growing up sheltered, I thought I already know what I want early on but going through life on my own opened my eyes to things I appreciated more than others. The journey towards them have been revealing and they made me the person I am proud to be- crazy eccentricities, quirky clothes and all.

Be original! Be you!

If you’re the latter, then I suggest you take one long look in the mirror while you tell yourself that what you want is worth showing and exploring. You are more important than the bandwagon some PR specialist probably concocted to raise the sales of an All American pop star and all his merchandise. SNAP OUT OF IT! Trust me, I’ve been in your shoes. Pretending to fangirl on some poor celebrity who I don’t even like sucked the life right out me. I am not going back. Don’t wait for it to happen to you, if it hasn’t already.

The danger of falling into trends even if you don’t like them or solely because you don’t know there are other choices out there is that IT PROGRESSES. It starts with singers you like, movies you watch or clothes you wear. Then it slowly begins to affect your self-image, your goals, your relationships and other aspects of your life that you used to love. When you agree compromising on the small things that make you happy in favor of those that make 90% of the twitter population happy, soon enough that will be your instinctive response to other decisions you make- even the crucial ones.

At least not if you’d rather take your own car 🙂 photo from donutwisdom.tumblr.com

THERE’S ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH LIKING WHAT EVERYONE ELSE LIKES if that is what’s truly natural to you. For those who aren’t in that group, have the courage to admit it. DON’T LET THE CHOICES OF THE MAJORITY DICTATE WHO YOU ARE because they are happy being who they are; you should be too.

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seriously silly

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Be silly, not everything in life has to be taken seriously.

It doesn’t make you juvenile or irresponsible if once in a while you let you hair down or loosen your tie and let go of all the worries even for just 5 minutes. True, it may not solve the problems you have or thicken the wad in your wallet but it makes you feel better. It will give you the courage and strength to face another day, another hour, another minute in the crazy hustle that’s life.