how to get through a bad day

Ask why.

I’ve been told one too many times by one too many people that the best way to get through a bad say is to just ‘choose’ to be happy, and I do believe that happiness is a choice. The important consideration though is how.

How do you choose to be happy when your hormones have been betraying you for the past 24 hours or more? 

Over the years, I’ve learned simple remedies, like I’m content snuggling under the covers and letting the pages of Murakami lighten my mood or munching down a whole pizza – yes, by myself. They’re the fairy dust to my weary soul.

Pizza Bianca’s my current favorite, but a simple pepperoni or cheese pizza’s perfect too.

I know I mentioned Murakami (and I’ve read most his words… twice, fine A LOT of times), but this is the book series I’m finishing up right now; they’re by Tahereh Mafi. You may wanna give it a read.

Although if the bad days keep recurring, you may wanna consider a different approach. Those little pockets of happiness we reserve for ourselves when we’ve had a particularly long week at work or taxing, borderline inhuman final exams are insignificant bandaids that may feign as solutions to what truly makes a ‘day’ bad.

I won’t pretend to be an expert, but from experience, I realized that often that the heavy feeling we get for, most likely, juvenile to no reason at all may be unresolved issues triggered by the most minute of events. They will keep nagging at us, capitalizing on the simplest flaw, until we finally resolve them from the roots. All that, it starts with one question:

Why?

because it hurts enough

I can’t say that I’ve had the worst life, not even a bad one but I’ve been through enough to say that my character and strength have been tested more than I expected life would.

I am strong. I was always told that so I started believing it, embodying it and living up to it like a label that stuck. Because people already had their minds made up that I can handle a lot of crap, they think I’d stand there and let them just throw random shit  ( excuse my French)  about me that they know are not true or they fully know I don’t deserve. Sorry to burst your bubble honey but my strength does not interfere with my intellect.

kaylecci

That’s us, goofy as always. We took this a few days back after a marathon of mega cheesy movies.

(Those were my thoughts after this strange banter with my sister who just shut the door in my face. ) 

HER: Does it hurt a lot?

ME:  It hurts enough. 

Often, we hold on to things which are not working, relationships that are already broken and people who repeatedly hurt us because we think it proves strength or shows resilience. The common belief is fix what’s broken or hurt until it hurts no more. You don’t have to follow that logic. The license to give up, let go, walk away, move on or fight back is not exclusive to those who are hurting the worst.

It’s not a sign of strength that you wait til your breaking point to do what best cures your pain. When it hurts, that’s enough.

on HATE

Hate and all its cruel manifestations are products of different circumstances in our lives. We cannot say that they are all the same or that they all come in the same degree or last for the same lengths of time but what we know is that when we feel it, it can be very destructive.

A year ago I was told of a secret that shattered my belief in relationships and my recently restored trust in people. I know that sounds melodramatic and depressing but if I did not feel those at that time I’d be worried where my emotions went or if I even have them.

Bear with me as I cannot discuss further the specifics of that event, both for your benefit and mine. I have accepted it but I’m not proud of it. The bottom line is this, she lied. She betrayed me for the longest time and all she could muster after that is a sorry-not even a heartfelt one. I played the rational card and stayed strong. Trust me, there was no bitch fight- not even yelling.

I HATED HER, in my heart I knew that but I never really admitted it until recently because I wanted to save the relationship. I thought by not confronting my feelings they will fade away. Soon I’ll forget I even felt them. But the more I denied them, the stronger they grew. It’s like trying to stop flood. No matter how many bolts the doors have, water will still seep through.

THE BEST WAY TO COPE IS TO ALLOW YOURSELF TO FEEL IT.

Do not punish yourself for feeling that way. Chances are you have every right to feel the way you feel but even if you don’t, castigating yourself because of how you feel towards someone will only encourage you to resent the person more.

When you feel that overpowering, enveloping need to hold on to the awful things a person did, recognize it. Understand it. In time you’ll learn to overcome it. Remind yourself that even the flood recedes after the rain